Wednesday, August 18, 2004

FBI Expects Violence at GOP Convention

I'll be attempting to dissuade the mob by selling my homemade peach eucalyptus-sap cookies with rainbow sprinkles. It worked at the Democratic Convention in Boston. A group of Lyndon LaRouche supporters were trying to use their Jedi mind powers to telepathically remove the skin of Joe Lieberman to prove once and for all that he is actually a member of the British Royal Family that has infiltrated the Democratic party to perpetuate the Drug War for the benefit of the House of Windsor, the Bilderbergers, the John Birch Society, and the International House of Pancakes.

I also used my cookies to constipate a group of UC Berkeley students that were planning to deficate for George W. Bush. I wasn't exactly sure what they hoped to accomplish by their display. They just gave me the address of a website and scurried away. I was hoping to check it out as soon as I got to a computer, but was thwarted by the Lyndon LaRouche supporters.

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